Do you know what is expected of you?

Ok this has been pending for far too long. Many months back, I took a survey with a lot of anonymously willing participants about what they expect from dating and relationships. Questions involved items that put people off in the short as well as long term and how they reacted to cheating.

And....(drum roll)........here are the results!!!
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Q: What do u think a man/woman should not tell/ask/do on the first 3 dates?

50% of men surveyed did not want their salary or wealth to be discussed while they've just started dating a woman.
58% of men did not want women to talk about anybody's exes on the first 3 dates.

For the women, results were varied, with a mix of no naughty language, no talking about exes, no showing off, not being rude, etc. Surprisingly, only one woman did not want to talk about her age and another surprising 43% did not want to talk about their salary / wealth either!

(Btw...hence proved, men are predictable and women are complicated!)
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So when asked what people had learned from their past dating experiences, the men were obviously all around the place!

Q: What have u learnt from ur past dates....what should u avoid saying to the girl/guy?


Interesting answers from the men were:

• Do not give advice
• Do not say I love you
• Do not ask for marriage (!!!!)
• Do not compare her with others
• Do not give her professional criticism
• Avoid tactless jokes
• Do not talk to her about something she is not interested in

My favourite response, though, has to be one that was given to me by 2 guys - DO NOT get her drunk!!! Haha. I see that some people have had problems with drunk dates quite a bit!

Women on the other hand, knew exactly what men did not want to hear in the first three dates. Almost everybody knew that talking about salary and exes was a big no-no!
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Q: What do u think your man/woman should not do ever in the relationship?

42% men did not want their women to compare them with other men, while other popular answers were no hurting ego, no lying and no demeaning friends and family.

For women, the expectations of what a long term partner should not do were exactly the opposite. All participants but one did not want their partner to physically or verbally abuse them. So no belittling, hitting or being rude. Simple! Everything else can be dealt with.
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Q: Is cheating once ok? Provided he/she is truly apologetic later?

This was really interesting. 92% of all men said that their partner cheating was absolutely not okay. This, compared to only 57% of women saying the same thing. After a lot of prodding, 25% men said they would forgive their woman if she was truly apologetic (and other best case scenarios). Which meant a change of mind for 17% men. For women, the number didn't change much.


ANALYSIS!!

Honestly, I don't know how men and women live with each other with such a difference in expectations. While women have a multitude of no-nos while they are choosing a man, once they have committed to a relationship, there's not much that will break it for them. However, for men it's the other way round. While they have very low expectations from a woman they are dating, they want a lot from the woman they are looking at from a long term perspective.

Of course, this study is limited by scope. All survey participants were urban men and women between 25 to 28 years of age, earning approximately between 5 to 15 lakhs a year.