Gossip Girls

I've never really been into gossiping. I find it a total breach of confidentiality, privacy, space, freedom (thank you, thesaurus.com) - some things that I believe in and have fought for almost all my life. With parents, with boyfriends, sometimes even with friends! I have always had issues with my parents opening my mail, my drawers, my wardrobe, even my room at times! I never liked the "Who are you talking to on the phone?" question and have answered "Why do you wanna know?" or "I won't tell you." multiple times. I like my space. Maybe more than a lot of other people I know. And I don't expect everyone to relate to me. I accept that I am a little extreme in these things. I have fought with boyfriends early on in life when their possessiveness manipulated their heads to find it acceptable to tell me I shouldn't wear certain kinds of clothes. I eventually learned to weed out such men from my future. I have even debated with friends on issues of morality and why someone's choice should not be their cross to bear.

But sometimes, when you hang out with girls, you seem to get a barrage of information that clearly crosses the line.

For example, "That girl was wearing a dress that totally showed her cleavage! In office!" or "I've been told she's a big slut." or "She's slept with half the team." or "Did you see what gaudy colours she wears?" or "All she does is gossip in office!".

Note that:

1. Others gossiping is also gossip.
2. Women are almost always gossiping about other women
3. It's almost always about sex.

Now this is gossip that my girl friends have picked up from office. Not a kitty party or a PTA meeting or the bhaaji waala. Office. And I can't stop wondering how billion dollar organizations can keep their employees so free of work that they have time to talk about bull shit like this! Is this why some organizations ensure that their employees work 15 hours a day? So they refrain from irrelevant small talk during work? Debatable. Because a lot of times, some people are working 15 hours coz they've wasted 5 hours in gossip!

One British study says that "Gossip is no idle chatter: it has clear functions". The clear function is supposed to be assessing potential partners. The study, however, does not clearly say why women would then gossip about other women. Could it be that some women want to convince themselves that the gossiped woman, sub-consciously being perceived as a threat, is not really competition thanks to her bad character, sluttiness or lack of ethics? I really don't have the answer to that question because I find most gossip boring to be very honest. None of it shocks me. Instead if I heard a story that went "She gave birth to a half-goat, half-human baby!", then I would be interested!

Somehow, there are offices with a rampant gossip culture. And the worst thing is that nobody complains about it. For some reason, everybody conveniently thinks that they are not being gossiped about. A friend got a rude shock lately when she found out that stuff was being talked about her as well. The thirst for a good story easily overwhelms the rational act of refraining from slanderous chit-chat. And I have to add here that it's not just the people who spread the tales who are responsible. No. If you are party to being an audience and/or passing judgment on another human being who didn't directly ask you for it, you are an integral part of the grapevine. And unless you are a boring person who doesn't have any life other than work and family, you will be talked about sooner or later. Remember in the examples above, even people who gossip a lot are gossiped about!

I read about this being treated as a serious problem in some companies. Printingforless.com has a no gossip and no back stabbing policy which is enforced by employees signing an 'agreement to values' form. A breach of this agreement can lead to the company sacking you! Imagine the increase in productivity due to (1) obviously, reduction in time spent in gossip; and (2) lesser employee stress on what people might be talking about them after getting drunk in the last office party! What I loved about my last team was how they were open about all this. If someone was drunk, it was joked about in front of them, with their knowledge. Even if a story about someone was told while he/she was not around, there was no hiding of the fact that his/her account was circulated. The stories were treated as anecdotes, and of course people are free to make judgments in their heads, but there were no judged scores being discussed in whispers. The difference is that in the former, "You were pissed drunk in that party!" is what is said, while in the latter, it's more on the lines of "Did you see how pissed drunk that intern was in that party? I wonder if her parents know that she drinks!"

Gossip and judge. Pastimes of the retarded.

On the bright side though, women who gossip have a happy and healthier life because it increases progesterone levels in their body. But so does Vitamin C. So go have an orange instead. Godspeed! (Don't ask. I just felt like saying that.)